One of our most inspiring bloggers, @bereavedsingledad , has agreed to write a guest post for us about the loss of his father when he was younger. It is a lovely post, and we are very grateful that Gary was able to write for us. Here is the link to his blog, so you can give him a read; grab a cup of tea, because you'll be reading for a while! As soon as you start, you won't want to stop.
Sat at my desk today, the realisation that it's been 18 months didn’t bring my world crushing down around me as the anticipation of the 6 month mark did.
But this is my world. Those were the cards I had been dealt. I have been living without my Mum for 14 months now. I have been doing okay.
I'm a hoarder of moments, desperate to find gold in paper, Something that I had missed before, like an echoing smile. I walk in my loving, sweet Danse Macabre, My fruitless attempt to make "treasure" worthwhile.
I would like a conversation, where we talk about life and living and what it all means. Maybe after, my brain will turn into liquid and drip into dreams.
When I was a teenager, I had the opportunity to see Ben Howard live for the first time, I remember trying to convince a friend to come with me because "You aren't going to remember the time you saved £25.00, you're going to remember the time you were front row at a Ben Howard concert!". Needless to say, we had a great time. It's something I've always been mindful of. And now, after losing my mum, memories have never been so valuable to me.
I enjoyed being outside of my comfort zone. I enjoyed not knowing the language, and the noise of the family around me. I was free. I had never felt more lost, and I had never felt more ‘found’ before.