So, 15 months ago I was stripped of everything that I thought made me, me. And what came after a deep long look and sorting through those jagged pieces, was less noise. A silence. A phase of purification. Nearly every aspect of my life, to an extent, has been stripped. So, who is Katie now?
Mum would love these rainbows.
The sun is still in the sky and shining above you. Thank you for coming on this journey with me.
When my Mum passed away, I willed my life to stay exactly how she left it – perfectly untouched like the crisp layer of newly fallen snow, blanketing my life. I daren’t take a step forward in fear of altering what she had left. I awkwardly lived around her belongings, preserving her life in our home.
I thought I’d never be able to endure this loss. But I suffered my biggest fear over the last 10 months and I’m still surviving it now. More than that, I finally feel as though I am in a position to start living again and putting myself back together.
I would like a conversation, where we talk about life and living and what it all means. Maybe after, my brain will turn into liquid and drip into dreams.
Today, I bleed. In the space of a year, everything has changed.