I enjoy your memory. The other day my flat and I cheersed our drinks for you. I laughed and felt giddy...
For many of us, we live in hope because those who have lost someone still can’t comprehend it.
I hope I will forever be grateful, even when inevitably things go wrong; this is my life and I’m in love with it again.
For 2019, I had a different type of bonfire night. It was lovely, wholesome and warm.
When I wake up, my heart doesn’t split into a thousand pieces. My head doesn’t pound with questions asking me why us, or how are we here. When I reach for a mug for my coffee, my hands don’t shake when I see Mum’s mug.
When I was a teenager, I had the opportunity to see Ben Howard live for the first time, I remember trying to convince a friend to come with me because "You aren't going to remember the time you saved £25.00, you're going to remember the time you were front row at a Ben Howard concert!". Needless to say, we had a great time. It's something I've always been mindful of. And now, after losing my mum, memories have never been so valuable to me.
She was my hero, and my best friend. She would always look after me, help me and guide me, and it strikes me that twelve, thirteen years later, I don’t have that.