Last week I cried on the phone and said “every day I wake up and lose. I go downstairs and I lose. I get out of bed and I lose. Everything I do, I lose, lose, lose.” Well Evee, every day you wake up and win. You stretch in the morning to the sound of the birds and chatter, and you’ve won. You get out of bed by 9, and you’ve won.
I lay in the sun, and saw a spider. It was a tiny smudge against the blue. Long, desperate webs trailed from its body like a single stitch that bore witness to the little life hurtling through the sky. Rather than fix him in a physical place, this web stitched the spider into my mind. I often come back to him.
I title each post-it “Dear” and the date. It is simple, but wonderful. Plus you don’t harm the book in the process, which is a thought which brings me a lot of simple joy.
Thank you for being here. Thank you to the silent readers who don’t comment. Thank you to the readers who do comment. Thank you to the people who come from our social media. Thank you to the people who stumble across our blog and never come back. Thank you to the people who keep coming back. Thank you for being here with me as I grow and navigate this world without my Mum.
So, 15 months ago I was stripped of everything that I thought made me, me. And what came after a deep long look and sorting through those jagged pieces, was less noise. A silence. A phase of purification. Nearly every aspect of my life, to an extent, has been stripped.
So, who is Katie now?