I enjoy your memory. The other day my flat and I cheersed our drinks for you. I laughed and felt giddy...
For many of us, we live in hope because those who have lost someone still can’t comprehend it.
I cannot wait to be Evee in my new life, and for Katie to be Katie in hers. I am ready for it now.
I'm a hoarder of moments, desperate to find gold in paper, Something that I had missed before, like an echoing smile. I walk in my loving, sweet Danse Macabre, My fruitless attempt to make "treasure" worthwhile.
When I was a teenager, I had the opportunity to see Ben Howard live for the first time, I remember trying to convince a friend to come with me because "You aren't going to remember the time you saved £25.00, you're going to remember the time you were front row at a Ben Howard concert!". Needless to say, we had a great time. It's something I've always been mindful of. And now, after losing my mum, memories have never been so valuable to me.
She was my hero, and my best friend. She would always look after me, help me and guide me, and it strikes me that twelve, thirteen years later, I don’t have that.
When you hold your thumb, try and think of a safe and calming space. This could be a place that you imagine, like a beach with the sound of the waves, or it could be a memory where you remember feel particularly calm. For me it is lying back on the trampoline, feeling warm by the evening sun, at about 12 years old.