I see a girl who got through a difficult year of her life. It was nothing like the worst, but it was nothing like the easiest. I see a girl who has been hurt, who has healed, and who looks to the future with bright eyes. I see a girl who is not perfect, who makes a plethora of mistakes, who has a library of stories and someone who keeps on trying, no matter what.
All my love and support, Katie
Thank you for being here. Thank you to the silent readers who don't comment. Thank you to the readers who do comment. Thank you to the people who come from our social media. Thank you to the people who stumble across our blog and never come back. Thank you to the people who keep coming back. Thank you for being here with me as I grow and navigate this world without my Mum.
I think a part of me is afraid to really dive into those words that have become a regular line in my narrative. I am afraid to miss my mum, because what if I miss her wrong? What if I remember something wrong? What if I drown?
Your grief is seen and felt, even at the time of the Christmas spirit and when all is merry. You are seen. You are heard. Your loved one, nor you, is forgotten.
~ I hope I can bring you a small moment of peace as well ~ A video I spent way too long working on.
House plants are a joy to have in your room or in your home. They don't ask for anything in return. They look after you, when you look after them. Taking time out of your day to peacefully prune back your plants, taking the time to water them, and gently read about them is quite meditative for me.
She’s tidying up now, preparing to leave. I don’t know if I should stop her. Or warn her. But there’s nothing to be done. Things will play out as they always have, for everything happens for a reason, they will say.
I am new to grief, my mom passed away not quite 2 months ago. I try and work through it by moving my body. I’m a runner....what I’ve noticed lately is that after every run I cry, I run, I cry. I’m so taken back by this. I feel as though I am doing the best I can, I talk about my pain, I see a psychologist, I do distract by shopping but the run/cry combo always catches me off guard. Maybe it’s guilt because she can’t run or walk this trail with me anymore. I don’t know! I wanted to share in case this is the same for others.
Grief, for me, is one of the few emotions that are entirely about self. It’s the expression of the agony of being born with one solitary reference frame. Mine. It expresses and touches that hollow core, that once felt, follows throughout life. I feel connected and then some event initiates loss, often the loss reminds me that I, in reality, can never be over there with you or any other sentient being. I find myself in a solitary container again. Grief and suffering are human challenges that may be constant, but the ability to feel those things are also the reason to embrace the joys. Life is bittersweet in turn.