You aren't your grief. You aren't what happens to you in this life, you are how you deal it. You won't always feel so small.
For 2019, I had a different type of bonfire night. It was lovely, wholesome and warm.
I feel Mum’s love everywhere I go, and I am so fortunate to have known her for so long. So many people go through their life without the vibrancy and love she has instilled in us.
It's been a slow transition but I wish I could tell my counsellor that I finally stepped down from that tightrope where I couldn’t put a foot wrong. I wish I could tell her that actually “Katie does make mistakes” but I can handle them – it’s okay.
Mum would love these rainbows.
But this is my world. Those were the cards I had been dealt. I have been living without my Mum for 14 months now. I have been doing okay.
I don’t feel fear like I used to. I’ve learnt that the only thing that you can actually count on in this life is, in fact, change. I don’t try and run away from it anymore; running away takes up too much energy anyway. It’s easier to face it straight on, embrace it, and jump.