Grief, for me, is one of the few emotions that are entirely about self. It’s the expression of the agony of being born with one solitary reference frame. Mine. It expresses and touches that hollow core, that once felt, follows throughout life. I feel connected and then some event initiates loss, often the loss reminds me that I, in reality, can never be over there with you or any other sentient being. I find myself in a solitary container again. Grief and suffering are human challenges that may be constant, but the ability to feel those things are also the reason to embrace the joys. Life is bittersweet in turn.
I would like a conversation, where we talk about life and living and what it all means. Maybe after, my brain will turn into liquid and drip into dreams.
It makes me feel bad that my family have had to look after me so much. I hate being a burden, boring and a frustration. I hate that they had to wake up in the night to help me with medicines or when I was throwing up.