I cannot wait to be Evee in my new life, and for Katie to be Katie in hers. I am ready for it now.
We are truly exhausted physically, but mentally, we are stronger and happier than ever.
The sun is still in the sky and shining above you. Thank you for coming on this journey with me.
I get stuck in my head a lot. I think and think and think, and sometimes the words I want to say just dry up in my mouth, and I keep everything inside. It’s not that I actively choose to not talk about it anymore, I just can’t express myself.
Today, I bleed. In the space of a year, everything has changed.
It makes me feel bad that my family have had to look after me so much. I hate being a burden, boring and a frustration. I hate that they had to wake up in the night to help me with medicines or when I was throwing up.
I enjoyed being outside of my comfort zone. I enjoyed not knowing the language, and the noise of the family around me. I was free. I had never felt more lost, and I had never felt more ‘found’ before.
What they didn’t know was that I was slowly losing it. My grades were the only thing I could even begin to control. I believed the only thing I could truly count on was that in March 2019 I would be at university. The hardest thing I had to do was leave my mum curled up on the sofa to revise for my exams. Repeatedly I beat myself up for being so selfish, but I promised myself that I would have all of summer to be with my Mum.