It's been a slow transition but I wish I could tell my counsellor that I finally stepped down from that tightrope where I couldn’t put a foot wrong. I wish I could tell her that actually “Katie does make mistakes” but I can handle them – it’s okay.
I'm made up for my little sister and best friend. So proud of how she has overcome every challenge thrown at her and still able to find the positive in every situation.
That's one of the most difficult things about losing my mum, I just want to tell her how difficult life is without her in it.
That’s my Mum, she existed, she laughed, there was a time she wasn’t dying or sad, when this wasn’t our reality, and when she could hug me and tell me everything’s going to be okay. The pain is just an indicator of how strong our bond was.
It didn't make sense at first. How could I have been a carer for such a long period without having realised? I think this is the case for many people. Like I said, the changes were minimal at first, and you really don't mind because you'd do anything for your family.
The whole experience felt really cathartic by letting go and accepting the pain of 2018, without letting go of our Mum.
