How Do You Know You’ve Done The Right Thing?

This post should really be called “On Being Human”.

I think this is a poignant question, and one I think about often; especially as a young person being without their Mum. I think a question that is good to ask ourselves when we are trying to work out whether we have done the right thing, is how do we know when we have done the wrong thing?

For me, I know I have done the wrong thing when:

  1. I talk about the situation, I find myself trying to convince the recipient that I was in the right.
  2. If difficult questions are asked, I make excuses.
  3. I find it difficult to put myself in someone else’s shoes.
  4. The pit of my stomach twists.
  5. I get sweaty thinking about it.

I know that I’ve done the right thing when:

  1. I smile and my chest feels like it’s expanding with warmth.
  2. When I fall asleep at night, my mind is silent.
  3. When I think of the problem, I feel clean and peaceful.

I don’t really think it matters what anyone else actually thinks about situations. I think that what matters the most, is that when all falls silent: you know what you have done. For me, it happens when I am trying to fall asleep and I keep tussling over and over: did I do the right thing? Usually if we have, we don’t keep thinking about it, right?  Especially if you have just tried to bring peace to yourself, if you have tried to bring peace to others.

It is okay to have insecurities, but I think what we need more in the world is forgiveness and apologies. When that ripple in my stomach comes up when I am doing something wrong I try to:

  1. Forgive myself for being human.
  2. Make amends.
  3. Learn for next time, to avoid the situation for a second, third, or fourth time.

I also think that there is a lot of emphasis placed on how many times do I have to learn?! I remember when I was a kid, my Mum would say “Why on earth don’t you ever learn the first time Evee?!” I think I’m still answering my Mum that today. But what I have learnt is that inevitably, the ripple of things being wrong ends up eating me alive until it is corrected, or that I have tried to. Whether this is a person in my life who does not bring joy, or whether this is a person I haven’t brought joy to. The latter is often harder to acknowledge than the first.

Ultimately, you will learn your lessons when you need to. From saying “I don’t care about fitting in”, “I am finally going to cut out dairy” (if you’re a lactose intolerant in denial like I was) or “I can’t keep doing this to myself”.

In this post, if you started to think about something, go, try and make amends, or forgive yourself.

That is when you will:

  1. Smile and your chest feels like it’s expanding with warmth.
  2. Fall asleep at night with a silent mind.
  3. Feel clean and peaceful about a problem you have.

You will have done the right thing.

Finally, if you have tried to make amends, and perhaps things dont go as you hoped, remember this:

  1. Nobody has to accept an apology.
  2. Your intention to correct actions was good and positive.
  3. You are human. You make mistakes.
  4. Regrets don’t change the past, but they do have the power to change the future.

Thank you for reading this all, my friend. I wish you nothing but love, peace and growth. I want you to thrive, instead of just survive. Whatever you’re going through: grow, learn and love.

Be in control.

Evee x

(A hippie typing away in her room)

35 thoughts on “How Do You Know You’ve Done The Right Thing?

  1. Thanx for your well wishes to those of us who read your blogs. Your are a very good writer!
    I would suggest a more effective way for evaluating if we are doing “the right thing”:
    1. If the Bible says do this, we better be doing it. If it says, Don’t so this, we better not be doing it.
    2. There are lots of things the Bible does not address for everyday events. In these cases, we need to develop “ears to hear” as Jesus said. Prayer is that two-way communication where we can ask Him for guidance and He assures us that He will give it.(Matthew 7:7-10; James 1:5)
    3. Sometimes my personal “antenna” are not as efficient as they could be, usually because of my desires. For that, there are others on this journey from who we seek counsel; wiser and usually people who have been walking with Jesus longer.
    4. Finally, an “open door/peace of mind” principle. If a door is shut, consider before pounding it open if this will bring you peace of mind (your expanding chest and warmth). It may be you SHOULD punch your way through, but then, it could be Father closing the door, and if you push through it will mean trouble.
    Lastly, how I feel about something probably should not be the final say on whether or not it is right. “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God.” 1 John 3:18-21
    Sleep well, forgive yourself when you screw up (we all do), and rest in Him.
    your friend, c.a.

  2. Evee, life is complicated. Once we’re past puberty I think most of us recognise this. As well as making mistakes, which we will, we will also get things right, but still spend ages turning things over in our mind to see if we could have done things better done differently. I think it’s an innate concern for others that makes us do this, we want to please people. Even ourselves sometimes. With practice comes the relief that as long s something was done with love and for the right reasons there’s no need to sit up worrying.. I may have said this before but I’m not religious but each to their own. There was a song made of a poem which I think has relevance here. Your own fault for claiming to be a Hippy when you’re far too young.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc0tXVD8TAc
    If you prefer the words rather than the song, just look Desiderata up on Google.
    Be kind to yourself.
    Huge Hugs

  3. What a fantastic post Evee! Very well written and you’ve explained the difference between doing the right thing and justifying to ourselves when we did wrong. If you don’t mind, I’d like to share this post?

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