As Told By Laura

I am new to grief, my mom passed away not quite 2 months ago. I try and work through it by moving my body. I’m a runner….what I’ve noticed lately is that after every run I cry, I run, I cry. I’m so taken back by this. I feel as though I am doing the best I can, I talk about my pain, I see a psychologist, I do distract by shopping but the run/cry combo always catches me off guard. Maybe it’s guilt because she can’t run or walk this trail with me anymore. I don’t know! I wanted to share in case this is the same for others.

Thank you so much to Laura for this lovely submission. It is so realistic and an accurate portrayal of the ‘everyday-ness’ of grief.

If you want to submit a post, feel free to email in at thegriefreality@outlook.com, or DM us on our socials.

Photo by Evee.

Have a lovely day.

20 thoughts on “As Told By Laura

  1. Abubaker Jandan – مدونة عامة أكتب فيها عن كافة القضايا والمواضيع الإجتماعية والسياسية والرياضية والفنية والإقتصادية .وكل ما هو يتعلق في عالم التقنية والمعلومات والتاريخ والشعر والمسرح والدين. A general blog in which I write about all social, political, sports, artistic and economic issues and topics and everything related to the world of technology, information, history, poetry, .theater and religion
    Abubaker Jandan says:

    A beautiful post so nice thank you so much

  2. When my father died, I had two tiny children one of whom was only just walking. Every day I would take them out in the double buggy and walk, walk, walk around London … pushing them to a playground or just walk. And I would weep, cry, howl. They were far too young to understand, but somehow it was my release each and every day. The rest of the time I tried to hold it together … my husband didn’t know I did this. He didn’t know anything and was too busy having a relationship with his secretary to notice and too frustrated with my grief and post natal depression to really understand. I was a mess for a while, but those releases helped. Do whatever you have to do in the knowledge that it becomes easier, slowly. Sending you my very heartfelt wishes. Katie

  3. Let your emotions out. Everyone goes through grief differently and in different phases. I lost my dad 5 years ago, and even though it’s still difficult, I smile more than I cry. God Bless.

  4. DutchIl – Retired, over the hill and gathering speed....no significant other.... Independent, a free spirit in thinking... born again heathen complete with long hair and earrings :) ...not into religious, political or social ideologies... not above sailing against the wind.... exploring life while hanging around to see how it all ends... From the poem Journey of Self Discovery.; I my setting on a journey of my own, The mistakes I make shall be mine, The regrets shall be my defined, Its fall or rise, Time will play a key role, As Frost said, I have an option of two paths ahead of me, One pre decided by my ancestors, less risky and challenging, Other of my own, I decide to take the less travelled one, To mark on journey of my own. (Illahi Bedi) Veteran, SGT, USMC (Vietnam, in country 1965-66, 12th Marine Regiment). COOP/SWOP Observer (since 2001 to present), NWS, ILX, NOAA, Dept of Commerce, USA. Met Weather Office, United Kingdom. Ebird (Cornell Lab of Orinthology/Audubon society). Member; (since 2005 to present) BOINC Project (University of Berkeley, Calif.); Princess Margaret Cancer Center/World Community Grid (Mapping Cancer), Setihome (astrophysics/astrobiology University of Berkeley, Calif.). “Everyday on the path least traveled brings change, that change presents a challenge, mentally and physically, as to how to accept it and deal with it, generates an excitement about living a second of time and looking forward to what the next second of time brings, looking forward to life and enjoying it.” Larry “Dutch” Woller 6/9/2016 “If there is any kindness I can show, or any good I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again” William Penn.
    DutchIl says:

    Thanks for sharing!!… though it may not seem like it at the time, grief will be short lived, taken over by the memories stored in the heart, the tear will be replaced by a smile and the heart will go on… 🙂

    Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there, I do not sleep
    I am a thousand winds that blow
    I am the diamonds glints in the snow
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain
    I am the gentle autumn rain
    When you awaking in the morning hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight
    I am the soft star that shines at night
    Do not stand by my grave and cry
    I am not there, I did not die
    (Mary Frye)

    1. Can we share this for an As Told By You post? I resonate with this poem, and think many others will as well <3 If so, what would you like it to be called? As Told By [Your Name], or anonymous? Have a beautiful, beautiful day!

      1. DutchIl – Retired, over the hill and gathering speed....no significant other.... Independent, a free spirit in thinking... born again heathen complete with long hair and earrings :) ...not into religious, political or social ideologies... not above sailing against the wind.... exploring life while hanging around to see how it all ends... From the poem Journey of Self Discovery.; I my setting on a journey of my own, The mistakes I make shall be mine, The regrets shall be my defined, Its fall or rise, Time will play a key role, As Frost said, I have an option of two paths ahead of me, One pre decided by my ancestors, less risky and challenging, Other of my own, I decide to take the less travelled one, To mark on journey of my own. (Illahi Bedi) Veteran, SGT, USMC (Vietnam, in country 1965-66, 12th Marine Regiment). COOP/SWOP Observer (since 2001 to present), NWS, ILX, NOAA, Dept of Commerce, USA. Met Weather Office, United Kingdom. Ebird (Cornell Lab of Orinthology/Audubon society). Member; (since 2005 to present) BOINC Project (University of Berkeley, Calif.); Princess Margaret Cancer Center/World Community Grid (Mapping Cancer), Setihome (astrophysics/astrobiology University of Berkeley, Calif.). “Everyday on the path least traveled brings change, that change presents a challenge, mentally and physically, as to how to accept it and deal with it, generates an excitement about living a second of time and looking forward to what the next second of time brings, looking forward to life and enjoying it.” Larry “Dutch” Woller 6/9/2016 “If there is any kindness I can show, or any good I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again” William Penn.
        DutchIl says:

        The poem is Mary Frye’s (in parenthesis, I found it a few years ago) and is on the internet , so you can do with it what you wish, making sure to include her name… you do not need my permission… 🙂

        Until we meet again..
        May flowers always line your path
        and sunshine light your way,
        May songbirds serenade your
        every step along the way,
        May a rainbow run beside you
        in a sky that’s always blue,
        And may happiness fill your heart
        each day your whole life through.
        May the sun shine all day long
        Everything go right, nothing go wrong
        May those you love bring love back to you
        And may all the wishes you wish come true
        (Irish Saying)

      2. I would love to post your original comment of “though it may not seem like it at the time, grief will be short lived, taken over by the memories stored in the heart, the tear will be replaced by a smile and the heart will go on…
        I can post the poem to if you want!

      3. DutchIl – Retired, over the hill and gathering speed....no significant other.... Independent, a free spirit in thinking... born again heathen complete with long hair and earrings :) ...not into religious, political or social ideologies... not above sailing against the wind.... exploring life while hanging around to see how it all ends... From the poem Journey of Self Discovery.; I my setting on a journey of my own, The mistakes I make shall be mine, The regrets shall be my defined, Its fall or rise, Time will play a key role, As Frost said, I have an option of two paths ahead of me, One pre decided by my ancestors, less risky and challenging, Other of my own, I decide to take the less travelled one, To mark on journey of my own. (Illahi Bedi) Veteran, SGT, USMC (Vietnam, in country 1965-66, 12th Marine Regiment). COOP/SWOP Observer (since 2001 to present), NWS, ILX, NOAA, Dept of Commerce, USA. Met Weather Office, United Kingdom. Ebird (Cornell Lab of Orinthology/Audubon society). Member; (since 2005 to present) BOINC Project (University of Berkeley, Calif.); Princess Margaret Cancer Center/World Community Grid (Mapping Cancer), Setihome (astrophysics/astrobiology University of Berkeley, Calif.). “Everyday on the path least traveled brings change, that change presents a challenge, mentally and physically, as to how to accept it and deal with it, generates an excitement about living a second of time and looking forward to what the next second of time brings, looking forward to life and enjoying it.” Larry “Dutch” Woller 6/9/2016 “If there is any kindness I can show, or any good I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again” William Penn.
        DutchIl says:

        You can post whatever of my comment you heart desires, Okay?… 🙂
        Until we meet again…
        Hope all is well in your part of the universe, each and every day is filled with love and happiness and life is all that you wish for it to be!!… 🙂

  5. rothpoetry – Dwight Roth grew up in Southwestern Pennsylvania. He taught elementary school in Eastern North Carolina before retiring after 29 years. Now he lives with his wife Ruth near Monroe, NC, and spends his time painting and writing. He has self-published several books that are found on Amazon Kindle. He is also published in past OMP Anthologies. A book of poems called Ebb and Flow and a children’s book on Alzheimer’s are his latest creations.
    rothpoetry says:

    A good post! So sorry for the loss of your mom!

  6. I’m sorry for your paining who have lost. I’m sure she was very proud of you and loved you so much!

    Your doing a great job in dealing with it, or at least in trying to overcome it. Of course, life will never be the same with out her.

    You probably already know that, and experience it everyday! So, I guess the real trouble is going to be learning to live a different life. Be who you are but changed a little. The good thing is that your talking about it, so you have a chance to help someone else who is hurting. (Silver lining).

    I often run and cry! No joke! I live in the desert, so I will go off the track and run crazily with tears pouring down my face! It helped to uncover so much! It was like washing my soul or clearing it out!

    There just is not many times in life that we get the chance to loose control and express how we really feel. Well, with out consequences and judgement. So, run and cry! Run and cry until you can’t run or cry again! And then the next day! Do it again! Until one day comes you won’t need to do that anymore and you will be able to think of your mother and smile and remember how she smelled, or how she always said funny stuff trying to be cool but she isn’t. Or whatever!

    Or maybe you will be that one weird girl jogging and crying forever, but at least you feel better at the end.

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