As Told By Lisa

Death of a loved one is hard. Grief and mourning suck but both are necessary to heal.

I say ‘heal’ only as a descriptor because healing is not a vacation or a pleasure cruise that has a beginning and an end.

Healing is ongoing – a lifetime endeavor. The grief to mourning to healing continuum is fluid. It was described as riding the grief train.

The grief train makes frequent stops on the long journey.

Sometimes passengers board to start the process, others hop off to try to resume some semblance of normalcy – only to board the train again down the line when they find they’ve jumped off too soon.

Many head straight for the sleeper car to hide themselves from the side-glances of pity or the seemingly endless condolences, withdrawing into themselves to process the pain – or to escape it.

As the journey continues scenery beckons, life goes on whether one wishes it to or not. The grief train keeps moving with forward momentum.

Memories sneak in – sometimes prompting a trip back to the sleeper car for a rest period. But with time crying lessens, and one peers out from behind the curtains with reddened eyes, eyelids rubbed raw.

When the emotions are overwhelming, one may climb the ladder up to the roof, hoping for a chance to crash into an upcoming tunnel. More than once.

But eventually trips to the sleeper car become fewer when memories can be accompanied by laughter and occasionally tears. The urge to climb up the ladder is a distant memory. The desire to heal becomes stronger than the need to suffer.

Then:

Moments of beauty produce gratitude.

Gratitude for the past.

Gratitude for love.

Gratitude for support during the dark times.

Gratitude for those who provide tools to help soften the blow.

Gratitude for the ability to feel gratitude.

Practicing gratitude, one can give thanks for the grief train, for the people one meets while riding the rails are there for a reason.

There are no coincidences, ever.

XO Lisa

Thank you so muchLisa for such a heart warming post. Gratitude is a huge accomplisment to feel after a great loss. Thank you so much for your submission!

If you would like to submit your own thoughts or feelings about grief, feel free to do so at thegriefreality@outlook.com we would love to have you here 🙂 

Your posts can be as long or as short as you want them to be.

Photo by Mark Plötz on Pexels.com

22 thoughts on “As Told By Lisa

  1. Cheryl, Gulf Coast Poet – Gulf Coast of Florida – A retired teacher, I live with my significant other on the Gulf Coast of Florida. I enjoy the beach, walking outdoors, movies, and reading. Hanging Out with Wild Animals is a book series of photos and poems about my encounters with Florida animals. Wonders is a book of poems inspired by the men I have known and loved. Life in Inspiring Places is a book of photos and poems about the places rich in history and natural beauty that I have called home. Excerpts from the books and additional poems can be found on my website. Cheryl Batavia
    gulfcoastpoet@gmail.com says:

    Thank you, Lisa for this insightful post and lovely poem. I agree with you that grief cannot be quickly overcome. I find that grief becomes wistfulness over time. When something good happens in my life, I have the impulse to pick up the phone and tell my grandparents, my parents or my late husband all about it! Missing them never goes away. Have a happy day! Cheryl

  2. jbcowgill – I am one who loves to travel. I enjoy photography. I take many photos of my journeys. I also write short stories and poems.
    jbcowgill says:

    I have gratitude for this piece.

  3. Michelle (Boomer Eco Crusader) – Canada – Hi there! I’m Michelle and I live in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. I am married with two daughters – one in college and one in high school. I firmly believe that if everyone makes just a few small changes, we can have a positive impact on the planet.
    Boomer EcoCrusader says:

    That was lovely. I really related to the analogy of the grief train. Thank you for sharing.

  4. janetsm – North Carolina – Author of a vintage postcard book titled The Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. I enjoy doing the research for and writing historical fiction. The historical novel I'm writing is set in the Carolina Backcountry in the 1760s. The working title is The Doubloon.
    janetsm says:

    Beautifully expressed, Lisa.

  5. Chirantan Raut – Hi there! I am a health-tech blogger, an average book reader, food and nutrition enthusiast, and sales professional. Copywriting is the think that drives me. I can make the print on 'Buy' button fade away. No matter whether you are seller, buyer, performer, affiliate marketer, Amazon seller or an astronaut, you need to advertise with persuasion to make money. Power in words and their structuring can do wonders to make your inventory empty. 'Show me your library, and I will tell you what kind of person you are' is damn true. Books give you direction to your final goal. I read atleast 3-4 books per year. I'm here only because of the books. What is the purpose of daily life without proper food and nutrition? Health is wealth. Steve Jobs said that 'What is the use to be the richest person in coffin?'. Nobody wants to spend earned money in hospital bills. I make valuable content to food habits. I'm a rockstar on Quora! I love the art of advertising. I am creating a personal brand, you can check my IG. I have 2 years of sales experience. I sold fruit syrups to retailers, fruit juice at kiosk, mobile applications and softwares to hospitals, medicines to doctors and pharmacies and, Point of Sales machine to merchants. Sales taught me customer mindset, objection handling and most important, facing rejection. I had seen bad days and good days. Those days were worth my struggle. I will share my genuine opinions on health-tech industry.
    Chirantan Raut says:

    Love that photo

  6. mountainlaurel – I am an English Tutor and a Teacher with Afterschool Enrichment Solutions. My love of God's beauty in nature is reflected in my pictures and future posts. I love learning, I am learning to blog, and design Websites. A new world has opened its doors; I am thrilled to be walking through into this technology revolution I love to write. Walk with me through this journey of healing. I currently work for Jennasis and Associates. An exceptional digital marketing business!
    mountainlaurel says:

    Grief is definitely a journey of healing! There is no Right amount of time! Always ignore those who say “hasn’t it been long enough” No! I am healing in my own time! Be brave continue to stand strong! There is #AlwaysHope. #HopeForTheHurting2017.wordpress.com
    #JoyComesInTheMorning

  7. What a beautiful and moving way to think of the healing Journey. Lisa is so well spoken. Sending love and light x

  8. usfman – South Florida – I accomplished a rewarding career as a teacher and professor for 28 years.No more daily lesson plans now frees my curious mind to experience life on my own terms now.
    usfman says:

    Very powerful message to consider as so many have lost loved ones from the pandemic.

  9. Thank you Lisa. The desire to heal becomes stronger than the need to suffer. That makes a lot of sense.

  10. Cindy Georgakas – I’ve been in the field of health and wellness for thirty plus years. It is my passion and life work. I’m a Life Coach, certified through Dr. Cherie Carter Scott PHD (Mother of Life Coaching), a Certified California Massage Therapist, (CAMTC) specializing in Craniosacral Therapy, Thai, Deep Tissue, Sports. Pre postnatal etc. I am also a Reiki Master, a Certified Personal Trainer, and a Certified Yoga Teacher and writer. I love starting my day in meditation, yoga and Tai Chi and Qui gong, hiking with my husband, furry legged kids, and my kids (when I can grab them); and hanging with my cats.
    Cindy Georgakas says:

    Love the analogy of grief and the train! Thanks for stopping in and visiting my site. I’ll look forward to hearing more of your work.

      1. Cindy Georgakas – I’ve been in the field of health and wellness for thirty plus years. It is my passion and life work. I’m a Life Coach, certified through Dr. Cherie Carter Scott PHD (Mother of Life Coaching), a Certified California Massage Therapist, (CAMTC) specializing in Craniosacral Therapy, Thai, Deep Tissue, Sports. Pre postnatal etc. I am also a Reiki Master, a Certified Personal Trainer, and a Certified Yoga Teacher and writer. I love starting my day in meditation, yoga and Tai Chi and Qui gong, hiking with my husband, furry legged kids, and my kids (when I can grab them); and hanging with my cats.
        Cindy Georgakas says:

        Pretty sure I just did? lmk!

  11. windsofchange18 – I am a stay at home mom of two. I love my morning coffee and my afternoon tea. I love spending time with my family. In my spare time I love to read and especially write. I hope what I share on here all of you will enjoy.
    windsofchange18 says:

    Yes a death of a love one is. 6 months after my first child was born my dad passed and a year later my mom. It gets easier to deal with but you never go a day with not thinking about them. Hugs to you.

      1. windsofchange18 – I am a stay at home mom of two. I love my morning coffee and my afternoon tea. I love spending time with my family. In my spare time I love to read and especially write. I hope what I share on here all of you will enjoy.
        windsofchange18 says:

        Thank you.

  12. SJ Falling Rock – Hey There, Poetry I write a lot of poetry. Thank you for checking out my work. Artistic license and freedom are what I rely on in my work. My "Writing Senses" are always on. That allows me to create characters and stories that I hope resonate with people.
    SJ Falling Rock says:

    Thank you for this Lisa. I just lost one of my closest friends to a car wreck. We had spoken just hours before he left this life. There were so many plans we had but that just makes me excited to be reunited with him someday.

  13. elvira797mx – Estimados lectores... Bienvenidos a has-sent-i-do-que.blog Este es un espacio dónde espero se sientan cómodos leyendo, pues yo disfruto y aprendo escribiendo lo que siento y pienso... Gracias
    elvira797mx says:

    Hermoso trabajo el que hacen.
    Tantas personas que sufren, hay que ayudar.
    Gracias por lo que comparten.
    Felicidades

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