The Difference of Missing Someone Who Can Come Back

When I miss Mummy, there is a gentle simplicity in my suffering. In a way, it is complete, it is a cycle that has been fulfilled, and it is a constant feeling I will carry with me. In the beginning my pain was raw, now it is growing with me.

Quarantine has been a new experience for all of us. For myself, I have learnt of the beauty of missing people. In my life before, I swore to myself I would never be able to miss someone again; Mum’s death was too final, and that was true loss, in my eyes. How can you miss someone if you know you’ll see them again? That is what I used to think at least.

I miss my people during quarantine. I don’t know when I will get to see them again, even though I know I will see them soon. There is a simple pain in this missing too, however it is tinged with more desperation and a sense of futility. I feel very small in a world that has been brought to its knees by something so tiny in comparison.

Again, this feeling reminds me how much love can hurt. It is wonderful for this physical emotion that you are not alone, you are so loved, and you have people you want in your life again.

Wonderful.

I hope quarantine hasn’t been too hard on everyone. Loneliness is difficult to comprehend when it is thrust upon you as it is now. Just two weeks ago, my life looked so different to this reality!

I am blessed to be with Katie and my uncle at the minute, and now my feet are back on the ground, we will be writing more about quarantine and how to (hopefully) make it go by a bit easier.

Hang in there, loves!

Evee x

Featured Image; A picture of a church window I took on one of my latest walks. I love churches because they make me feel close to Mum 🙂 Taken on the 25/03/2020

15 thoughts on “The Difference of Missing Someone Who Can Come Back

  1. Katie & Eve.

    I think you´re a strongest and wise women, dad or mum are essentials in our lives and quarantine´s a new challenge to human beings, spanish media talking only about cover-19 and elder population could be victim of underlying depression.
    Quarantine is a new way in order to discovering to myself, reading a sack of book I have in my list from time and learning guitar, unfortunately I ain´t Mark Knopfler and washing the flat, a new modern sport.
    Enjoy , stay at home and look at the bright side of life from quarantine.
    Cheers
    David

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It still just feels like a bad dream which we should soon wake up from, but it keeps going on. Apart from son not seen another face close up in over 4 weeks now. I guess the upside is that we won’t take these things for granted again. Hopefully we will learn to make the most of what we have in our lives. Look after yourself and keep that uncle under control.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. It’s hard. Really hard. Seeing those we love on FaceTime isn’t the same. House Party is well … not a real party. But. The difference between this suspended reality and the loss of your mum is that we (almost) have confidence that we will be with those that we are missing again. The finality of death, as you know so well, is the deepest of cuts. I am so glad you have that lovely church to sit in and feel her close to you. Your writing really is excellent. I’m also so glad to have found you but so sad that the conduit for finding you is your devastating loss. Take good care of you and your sister and your Uncle. I am happy that you can be together.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I have been using House Party too! Its really nice to have a big group of people on facetime 🙂
      Yes, I agree, the finality of death is the deepest cut.
      Thank you, take care also x please please please take care x

      Liked by 2 people

  4. My girlfriend and I, are feeling it. This quarantine has made us miss our family and our niece and nephews. We video live chat with them…but its not the same. We both cry together and then we tell each other things will get back to normal hopefully soon. It’s difficult and emotionally felt.

    Excellent written post my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

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