The Importance of Dating Yourself

Gently, we nurture each relationship we have with people; we take them for coffee, we sit and cry together, we laugh and constantly communicate. My best relationships are the ones where we speak life into each other, and allow each other to be our best version of ourselves.

How many times a day do we speak life into ourselves?

Our relationships with ourselves are mostly built on necessity. We eat when we can fit it in, half of us do not drink the amount we’re meant to, we always say yes to other’s before ourselves. In my opinion, the relationship we have with yourself is the most important one I think. 

If you love yourself, loving others becomes a given. We seek out people who are good for us, we seek out love which is not toxic, we say no when we need to. If you are your own best friend, you would never put yourself through dangerous situations, you would not burn yourself out. 

Some people suggest that we need to treat ourselves like a five-year-old. I agree with this in the sense that we need to put our basic needs first (8 hours of sleep, water, food and love). But I think we need to see our whole complete teen, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty something selves and we need to love each and every version of us. 

Humans are messy. We break things, but that does not mean we are destroyers. We are beautiful, but that doesn’t mean we are vain. We are scared, but that doesn’t mean we’re fearful. 

There is so much power to come from self-love. The world looks so much better when you’re so grateful to be here. Air tastes crisper when you enjoy every breath.

So, as you would share love, gratitude, appreciation for everyone in your life, do it for yourself too. One of my favourite things to do is take a book to a Waterstone’s café. I spend my time flirting with the idea of buying all the books that take my fancy. I pick them up and read their sweet invitations, but put them down, confident that the one in my bag will amuse me for a few hours today. When I reach the café, I order something sweet, something a little bit unhealthy, to go along with a coffee. I listen to my music, to music that’s good for the soul, and settle into my pages. Softly I fall, with no time limit, just enjoying my time, and myself.

After I lost Mummy, I would do this a lot. I would buy many books, and read some by the time I would get home. I know our time is precious and there are many demands from us daily, but I never see this as wasted time. I see it as planting seeds in my heart, and leave feeling excited to feel their bloom.

Other things I have done, is go shopping (because sometimes that is fun), have a bath in the dark with a TV show on (let’s face it, we all know it’s Love Island), go for a walk with my camera. 

I also go to a church in the city. I sit, and allow myself to think, feel and be quiet. It’s good for you to pause, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. It is so important to be alone, even though sometimes that’s a bit scary when so much is going on.

We don’t all have the time, but like we would for everyone else, make time for you. Make yourself a priority. Everyone who sees you will feel the benefits. Dress yourself up, date yourself for a while. Go to the cinema to see your new favourite film. Enjoy it, even if it is a bit crap.


23 thoughts on “The Importance of Dating Yourself

  1. sherrysescape – I am a pediatrician and an introvert. I love nature and thinking about human nature and what makes us tick. I am also a voracious reader and I knit to calm my mind. I am in my late 50s. The picture on my profile is a picture of me in 4th grade.
    sherrysescape says:

    Your writing is good, descriptive and quickly able to take us to where your mind is. Your attitude is upbeat and optimistic and so welcome. Thank-you.

  2. Well expressed Eve. Sorry for the loss of your mother so I can see now that you can relate. Although mine is still here for now.
    You’re nailed it, you do have to love yourself first. I believe that if you love yourself first, feel comfortable in your own skin and as my saying goes “know what you know and know what you don’t know” it´s much more easier to help others while in not so much of a weird manner your also helping yourself.
    Very good post.

  3. Inspiring words!
    I am very glad that social media is a way to support positive thoughts of beautiful people like you Evee!

  4. Anne – I am a single mother of 2 really great young adults. I am a professional as well, and hope to tell you some funny, authentic, and encouraging stories on my blog to help encourage and empower other single or just crazily busy parents. But I need to warn you that this blog is where I work out (for myself) some crazy ideas from their bitter, salty, pretzeled-up shapes into hopefully some better-tasting pastries. Any insanely busy person can probably relate to them ... crazy times call for crazy friends sharing crazy stories so we can laugh rather than cry about the way things turn out! (usually for the best, but sometimes that takes a very long time to see)
    Anne says:

    I love this post! My 5 year old, 14 year old, 25 year old, 35 year old, and 45 year old really need some doses of love and care. Sending it back to those girls and women is a fabulous idea!! Thank you 🙂

  5. We’re all so different beloved, for I would hate to have Love Island playing in the background at any time or sit in full view drinking coffee and reading in places where others are. See I don’t like public places, lots of people swirming around me and shopping, that can be and is sometimes a horrid nightmare! Therefore, I have to ponder what my self love would take me to. (delay here as I am pondering) A quiet rural garden. (delay here as I am pondering some more) A place to skip, dance, playful and full of ripe fruit to pick and flowers and warmth or winter feeding the birds, watching them swoop down to the filled feeders… or homemade marmalade on toasted wholemeal rolls, sitting quietly at home drinking rosehip tea… Blessings of peace wished your way in whatever your kind heart desires.

    1. Thank you for your beautiful comment, and for such lovely wonderings. Peace finds us in whichever way we need it; our peace is our own, and we need to protect it at all costs 🙂 I wish you peace also.

  6. The Trainer RN Hood River – United States – I want to “help” you have fun and enjoy life. Most important is to assist you in living a wonderful and relatively “pain free” life! Trust me, you don’t want to spend half your life in doctors offices and hospital beds! The Trainer RN* 15 3rd st Hood River Oregon 97031 541-490-8717
    The Trainer RN Hood River says:


  7. carlos SP – Prove all things; hold fast that which is GOOD. 1 Thessalonians 5:21. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the LORD, and not unto men; Colossians 3:23
    carlos SP says:

    “The world looks so much better when you’re so grateful to be here. Air tastes crisper when you enjoy every breath.”

  8. I really like this post. It’s important to date yourself from time to time, to take care of your needs and emotions.
    The world needs to pause for a moment because we, as humans beings, need to exist for our self in order to function properly.
    Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  9. Sunshiny SA, Kavitha – South Africa – Welcome to my blog in the land of Sunshiny South Africa. I am a wife of one, mother of two and “pet Mom” to 6. … also a full time employee with Architects + Engineering Consultants, hobbyist, traveller, culinary creator and poet. My days are full to brimming, in fact, I will say that “my cup runneth over”. Rich in an amazing family, I AM too blessed to be stressed. Realising that life is too short to NOT do the things we love, I have taken the plunge to become socially friendlier with my trusty keyboard. Stay in touch, Like, Share, Comment, Re-blog and follow SUNSHINYSASITE. Join me in my wanderlust through Life, Love, People, Places. Doing what I love and loving what I do.
    Sunshiny SA, Kavitha says:

    So love this refreshing post…

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