Grief Day

I’ve always really liked the analogy that your mental health is like a 5-year-old version of yourself, and you should treat it as such: Would you deny a 5-year-old crying when they fell over and scraped their knee? Nope. Would you let a 5-year-old skip dinner? No. 

No. As we get older, we may fall down and scrape our knees less, but life sends us little setbacks every now and then which, to our 5-year-old inner self, certainly feel like we need a plaster and for our mum to kiss it better.  

As a child, when I was too ill to go to school it was always a great comfort to take my duvet into the living room where I’d nestle on the sofa and watch Disney films. Mum usually pottered around the house with a dusting cloth or would sit beside me, reading and frequently turning to me to ask “How are you feeling, Mopsy Flopsy?”

Normally, I would have bounced back by the afternoon and Mum would look at me knowing that I probably could have gone to school. But I know she used to welcome a day off work to sit down, watch Disney films and eat eggy bread with me.  

Today, I woke up with very few spoons, my eyes tearful and head heavy.  

Today, I chose to take a “Grief Day” – a term I use to coin a day entirely devoted to feeling grief. A day when I turn to myself for the home comforts just as my mum used to on those sick days from school. 

I started the day by doing some gentle exercise followed by a shower. I got changed into clean pyjamas and found a blanket. I turned my phone off and I set myself up on the sofa with my cat some good films and a hot chocolate. After a good long cry and look through my memory box, I also indulged in a face mask, hair mask and a bubblebath.

I didn’t bounce back by the afternoon like I used to, I was in bed by 9pm, still teary eyed and feeling blue. But the weight of missing my mum made a little lighter after looking after myself the way she used to.

Remember to be gentle on your 5 year-old-self.

**Note to self – Make gluten free eggy bread!

When was the last time you had to set down your Griefcase (haha) after it got too heavy? What does a grief day look like to you?

Katie

8 thoughts on “Grief Day

  1. Jo – I am currently working part-time as an administrator, studying part-time to become a counsellor, and am a mother of two teenager daughters.
    Jo says:

    What a beautiful outlook on your grief days. It’s so important to be gentle on yourself and allowing yourself to feel your feelings and emotions.

    1. Sunshiny SA, Kavitha – South Africa – Welcome to my blog in the land of Sunshiny South Africa. I am a wife of one, mother of two and “pet Mom” to 6. … also a full time employee with Architects + Engineering Consultants, part time Consultant to AMC Cookware, hobbyist, traveller, culinary creator and poet. My days are full to brimming, in fact, I will say that “my cup runneth over”. Rich in an amazing family, I AM too blessed to be stressed. Realising that life is too short to NOT do the things we love, I have taken the plunge to become socially friendlier with my trusty keyboard. Stay in touch, Like, Share, Comment, Re-blog and follow SUNSHINYSASITE. https://sunshinysasite.wordpress.com/ Join me in my wanderlust through Life, Love, People, Places. Doing what I love and loving what I do.
      Sunshiny SA, Kavitha says:

      I’m going ro be kinder to myself and adopt your attitude. Thank you. Grief days, not a grieving life.

  2. Create Space – Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha). I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been! I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences! Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me! If you wish..., a little of the back story... I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21. As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning! However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also! You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect! By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'. As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way! Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story! Much love, Marie x
    Create Space says:

    Thank you for this wonderful post and “the analogy that your mental health is like a 5-year-old version of yourself, and you should treat it as such” a very helpful perspective on self care. Le grà, Marie

      1. Create Space – Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha). I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been! I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences! Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me! If you wish..., a little of the back story... I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21. As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning! However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also! You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect! By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'. As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way! Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story! Much love, Marie x
        Create Space says:

        I agree about the need for frequent reminders, we are slow learners particularly when it involves ourselves! Happy 2020 to you!

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