When my mum died, so did I.
As far as I was concerned my life was over. I didn’t care. I didn’t care whether I lived or not, because really, I wasn’t living at all. I was on autopilot.
Is there life after death? This question constantly plagued my mind. Where did my mum go? Is she okay? What’s it like?
Uninterested, I saw my future simply as a void of time that I’d have to fill before I, myself, passed away and would finally be reunited with my mum wherever she is now.
If you have been following our blog, you’ll know that so much has changed in mine and Evee’s lives recently. I think the biggest change for me, personally, is that I’ve jumped back in to the driver’s seat.
My life has become my own and I like it. I feel so passionate about it. I smile because I want to smile, not because I should.
I imagine holding my life in my hands, delicate and precious, and all that resentment I used to have for it has been replaced by gratitude. Now I know that I am finally thriving, not surviving.
I was at a friend’s birthday party the other night and found myself deep into a conversation with someone as we walked through London at 4am discussing important questions such as life after death, contemplating the universe and just how lucky we are.
He asked me, “What do you need in your life right now?”
Giving a little thought, I replied, “Nothing.”
“And what do you want in your life right now?”
“Nothing.” And I am smiling as I type this, I think the word to describe my current state is content. I am full of sneezes, I am sleep deprived and have very little money. But I can honestly say that, yes, I am quite content.
So, I ask myself, is there life after death?
Yes. And I am finally living it.
As always, thank you for reading.
When was the last time that you felt content? Is there anything in your life that you want or need at the moment?