Grateful

One Friday night last March I was overwrought with grief and exhausted from, what felt like, constantly swimming against the stream. I crawled into bed defeated from the working week and simply cried. I wanted to shut the whole world out and grieve.

All the while my phone was on the side buzzing constantly. It was Evee bombarding my WhatsApp with excited messages about all the comments we were receiving on one of our blog posts.  

Up until that point we hadn’t received much traction. Our blog was simply an online abyss where we would scream “I’M REALLY SAD TODAY AND LIFE HURTS” and then we’d shut the laptop and carry on swimming against the current. 

When we were plunged into such dark and uncertain waters in a life without our mum, we created this blog. We created this blog to become the people that Katie and Evee needed in the darkest moments. 

What we didn’t realise though was that, through this blog, we were entering into a community where we would receive comments daily telling us of similar situations: from other daughters, sons, husbands, wives, mums and dads, all grieving like us. 

We never expected to feel so supported by your comments of encouragement or simple “me too” messages or a “hang on in there, it does get better”. Knowing other people were able to survive such loss gave me hope and shined a light on a future that I thought I’d never be able to attain after losing our mum. 

Today, Evee and I are reflecting on the progress of our blog from a little café on Dartmoor over a cream tea (how very quaint). This blog has given us a weekly slot where we force ourselves to look beneath the surface of “I’m fine thanks” and truly reflect on how Katie and Evee are feeling. 

It has also given me the opportunity to write something for the first time that isn’t going to get graded. In my first post I think I mentioned that I wasn’t much of a writer, but through this blog I have come to know that I actually quite like it!

The Grief Reality has been a place for the pair of us to put our grief into very honest words. Without realising it, in our time of need, we reached out our hands and all of our readers reached right back.  And, for that we are so grateful. 

Thank you.

Katie 

27 thoughts on “Grateful

  1. M T McGuire – Great Britain – Humorous fantasy fiction author... the books are quite funny too. MTMcGuireAuthor on Twitter if you tweet. Website here www.hamgee.co.uk blog here www.mtmcguire.co.uk
    M T McGuire says:

    Wonderful post. Bless you. This is the truly wonderful thing about blogging. People just pop up out of nowhere and say kind things. I’m a new reader of your blog. But I had the same experience with mine. My dad died three months ago on Sunday after 14 years of Alzheimer’s. It’s a different kind of grieving I guess because you grieve so much while they’re still alive you are surprised that it still hurts a lot when they die. I have found your blog really helpful. So thank you, you’re doing something wonderful.

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your loss and thank you for sharing. No matter how “prepared” you feel nothing can prepare you for the aftermath of grief without that person. Glad you have found some of our posts helpful, thank you for following

      1. M T McGuire – Great Britain – Humorous fantasy fiction author... the books are quite funny too. MTMcGuireAuthor on Twitter if you tweet. Website here www.hamgee.co.uk blog here www.mtmcguire.co.uk
        M T McGuire says:

        It’s a pleasure.

  2. “Me too” – thanks to You.

    And the constant photo of a smile in the diffused light from the sky, is very encouraging and revitalizing !

  3. I’m glad you have had such a positive and supportive experience with your blog. The WordPress community is certainly lovely and supportive I have found at difficult times.

  4. palmtreesandloyalties – I figured it's important that I explain why I chose the Palm tree instead of the Pine tree. Both are beautiful and similar in one way. They both bend with the storms that pass, but still stand. This blog is just that. "Its me, still standing!" I now a make a pledge to very often find things to write about and always put an interesting spin on how I write about them. Hint hint...there will always be humour attached. This blog will be for those who like to read and see the fun and adventure in life. Not keen on talking about it. So I will write about it! Let's go!
    palmtreesandloyalties says:

    This blog is truly the best! The two of you should be proud of yourselves. Thank you both.

  5. Chandan Sinha – Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering Student | Product Designer | IoT Buff | UI/UX | Amateur Creative Writer & Cinematographer | Bibliophile | Tech-geek
    Chandan Sinha says:

    It is uncanny that I find this blog today even though I was not looking for it. We lost my brother’s 1 year old son today because of meningitis. I live far away from my home and my mother told me this devastating news over phone this morning while I was still asleep. I didn’t cry, I couldn’t because it was such a shock. I am not able to make sense of reality and digest that something like this has happened. The entire day went into restlessness, fighting the thousand thoughts occuring in my mind. I feel grief, fear and helplessness all at once.

    It’s a deep sinking feeling but even more so I feel terrified that nothing could prepare us for such loss that are always out of our control. At this moment, all I could think of is about the fragility of life, the strength of relationships, the void of loss. Sitting so far away from my family members, feeling utterly helpless and weak, I am thinking of them mourning over this unacceptable loss. Unable to cope up with all these, I suddenly woke up out of sleep at 3 in the night, looked at my phone and there was a notification of you liking one of my old comments on someone else’s post.

    As I read through some of your posts, I could feel a deep sense of sympathy for what you guys must have endured, the pain you bear every single day but more so, a deep appreciation for the strength you have shown, the smile you have come to regain over time. To look into the darkest depths of self, to make peace with grief and come out this honest, in the most authentic self to the world takes a lot of courage. I’m sure you have helped thousands through this blog of yours and will continue to do so, even in such unexpected way as it happened with me today. As of now, I am utterly clueless on how to deal with this loss. Despite of reading your own experience and consolatory words, it would be hard for me to assimilate this reality for a while. How do I fan away this fear that death is inevitable and it will eventually come to everyone you gave ever loved? I am once again treading into the eternal question – what is the meaning of life anyway? Or more fundamentally, what is life?

  6. I was struck immediately by the excellent quality of the writing. The internet is full of people in pain, but you both articulated yours in ways that climbed right inside the hurt and dug it out, excavated it into the full light of day. It felt like catharsis for you, and at this end was like a novel where you cannot stop turning the pages.
    Brilliant, helpful, honest writing. Hats off to you both!

  7. bigskybuckeye – United States – Born in the Big Sky Country of Montana and now living in the Buckeye State of Ohio, Richard is the creative mind behind Big Sky Buckeye. Retired after 40 years of teaching, I enjoy writing, photography, traveling, and following a healthy lifestyle.
    bigskybuckeye says:

    Your words bear such genuine honesty and truth. Anyone who has grieved the loss of a loved one walks with you every day in spirit. Most important of all, God continues to help us work through our grief with His Word and prayer. You are never truly alone.

  8. vincenza63 – Writer e blogger per passione, 57 anni, vivo in provincia di Milano. Nella vita traduco testi tecnici e scrivo. Sono un'appassionata di musica, letteratura, amici, allegria, meditazione e riflessione.
    vincenza63 says:

    I came across your blog thanks to your like to a comment.
    I’m experienced in being grateful since God touched my heart in 1989. My brother Francesco died of an overdose at the age of 30.
    That’s not all but… Not now.
    Step by step.
    Hugs from Italy
    Vicky

  9. craig lock – New Zealand – from http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/craig_lock.html About the Author Craig has a 'passion' for writing books that tell stories about people doing positive things in this often so hard, sometimes unkind world, occasionally cruel, yet always amazing world - true stories that leave the reader feeling uplifted, empowered and hopefully even inspired. https://www.createspace.com/3779691/ and http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005GGMAW4 Craig Lock loves to encourage and empower people to be the best they can possibly be, and to create what they want in life. Craig has learnt plenty from the "school of life" (still "battered and bruised") and also from a few "hard knocks on the head". He is an extensive world traveller (on a "shoestring budget") and failed professional emigrater who has spent most of his life’s savings on airfares. He is still sliding down the razor blade of life on the beautiful undiscovered island that is New Zealand, somewhere near the bottom (rude!) of the world near Antarctica. There he talks to the 60 million sheep! Craig has been involved in the corporate world (life assurance) for over twenty years in South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. However, through a strange set of circumstances and finding himself in a small town near the bottom of the world ...and with nothing else to do, he started writing. That was five years ago. Five published books later and having written another twenty manuscripts (on widely differing subjects - well what else is there to do here?)... this is where Craig is in the "journey/adventure" that is life. Craig has taught at the local Polytechnic, as well as running a successful creative writing course (not teaching sheep!). He was the author of (as far as we know) the first creative writing course on the internet Craig has many varied interests and passions. He is particularly interested in the field of psychology – studying the human mind and what makes different people "tick-tock grandfather clock". He is fascinated by the "overlap between psychology and the dimension of spirituality". One of his missions in life is helping people make the most of their hidden potential and so finding their niche in life... so that they are happy. Craig’s various books probably tell more about his rather "eventful" life best (no one could believe it!). He writes books with serious messages and themes, then as a contrast "rather crazy, wacky stuff"…to keep him sane here. As an ‘anonymouse’ person wrote: "All of us are born mad; some of us remain so." Well nothing else much happens in quiet provincial New Zealand, other than headlines like "Golf Ball Thrown at Policeman" and "Beach Toilet Closed for Season.". True! from http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/craig_lock.html Craig has a 'passion' for writing books that tell stories about people doing positive things in this often so hard, sometimes unkind world, occasionally cruel, yet always amazing world - true stories that leave the reader feeling uplifted, empowered and hopefully even inspired. https://www.createspace.com/3779691/ and http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005GGMAW4 from http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/craig_lock.html and http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/craig-lock Craig Lock loves to encourage and empower people to be the best they can possibly be, and to create what they want in life. Craig has learnt plenty from the "school of life" (still "battered and bruised") and also from a few "hard knocks on the head". He is an extensive world traveller (on a "shoestring budget") and failed professional emigrater who has spent most of his life's savings on airfares. He is still sliding down the razor blade of life on the beautiful undiscovered island that is New Zealand, somewhere near the bottom (rude!) of the world near Antarctica. There he talks to the 60 million sheep! Craig has been involved in the corporate world (life assurance) for over twenty years in South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. However, through a strange set of circumstances and finding himself in a small town near the bottom of the world ...and with nothing else to do, he started writing. That was five years ago. Five published books later and having written another twenty manuscripts (on widely differing subjects - well what else is there to do here?)... this is where Craig is in the "journey/adventure" that is life. Craig has taught at the local Polytechnic, as well as running a successful creative writing course (not teaching sheep!). He was the author of (as far as we know) the first creative writing course on the internet Craig has many varied interests and passions. He is particularly interested in the field of psychology – studying the human mind and what makes different people "tick-tock grandfather clock". He is fascinated by the "overlap between psychology and the dimension of spirituality". One of his missions in life is helping people make the most of their hidden potential and so finding their niche in life... so that they are happy. Craig’s various books probably tell more about his rather "eventful" life best (no one could believe it!). He writes books with serious messages and themes, then as a contrast "rather crazy, wacky stuff"…to keep him sane here. As an ‘anonymouse’ person wrote: "All of us are born mad; some of us remain so." Well nothing else much happens in quiet provincial New Zealand, other than headlines like "Golf Ball Thrown at Policeman" (it missed, btw!) and "Beach Toilet Closed for Season." True! The various books* that Craig “felt inspired to write” are available at ebooks (digital books) http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005GGMAW4 http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=la_B005GGMAW4_sr?rh=i:books&field-author=Craig+Lock Paperbacks (see https://goldendawnpublishing.wordpress.com/2016/12/20/paperback-writer/ and https://wanttowriteabook.wordpress.com/2013/06/07/paperback-writer-the-beatles/ https://www.createspace.com/pub/simplesitesearch.search.do?sitesearch_query="craig+lock"&sitesearch_type=STORE https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Lock/e/B005GGMAW4/ref=pe_584750_33951330_sr_tc_2_0?qid=1476388259&sr=1-2-ent http://www.creativekiwis.com/index.php/books and http://goo.gl/vTpjk All proceeds go to needy and underprivileged children – MINE! “When the writer is no more , the value of your purchase will soar! “ “Together, one mind, one life (one small step at a time), let’s see how many people (and lives) we can encourage, impact, empower, enrich, uplift and perhaps even inspire to reach their fullest potentials…and strive for and perhaps one sunny day even achieve their wildest dreams.” PPS Don’t worry about the world ending today… as it’s already tomorrow in scenic and tranquil ‘little’ New Zealand
    craig lock says:

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