Out of the Woods

The quiet train carriage was disrupted by my phone alerting me of a new message from my friend: “Results are OUT.”  She was referring to our Master’s grade, of course.

All too quickly anxiety whirled up inside of me. I hadn’t expected to receive this message for another month or so. I had thought about this moment a lot. In my head I had compared what would be, with what was on the day that I got my undergraduate results a couple of years ago.

I was in Spain and my mum, of course, was the first person I phoned. She was beaming through the phone so, so proud of me.  I got the first-class degree that I so wanted, but then again, she would have been proud with whatever grade I got.

This time I wouldn’t be able to phone her. My happiness would undeniably echo the silence of loss; the loss of her pride or the “I knew you’d do it! I never doubted you for a minute.”

I logged on to the university blackboard page – thankful that the train’s Wifi held out – and sure enough the little red notification appeared in the top right corner of the screen.

72.

My final assignment was worth 72, giving me a grade average of 73. A distinction. I cried. She would have been so proud of me. The Master’s was the cause of so many sleepless nights but one of my final promises that I swore I’d keep. And I bloody well did it. 

On Facetime to both my boyfriend and my sister, Evee said to me “That’ll do pig, that’ll do” quoting the iconic final line from Babe, and I laughed through my tears. She was right, that’ll do. It’s over now, I can rest.

I didn’t feel anxious about my trip for the rest of the train journey. Rather, I felt calm. 

I couldn’t help but wonder, is this the light at the end of the tunnel that so many people have promised? Are we finally out of the woods? 

Katie

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20 thoughts on “Out of the Woods

  1. Congratulations on such a wonderful result. Onwards and upwards as they say!

  2. monicatbd – I'm super grateful to say that I've been sober from alcohol since November 16, 2017. I won't get that tattoo'd on me, but I will let it be known on the interwebs! I’m a fur mama of two crazy cats who always keep me entertained as long as I keep them fed. My goal for this blog is to help raise awareness about addiction. It is real. It is scary, but if I can get sober, then I know you can too. Don’t give up on hope. Also, I’ve done a lot of stupid sh!t drinking. The fact that I can look back on some of these things as a sober woman and laugh is a miracle. Sobriety doesn’t mean you stop living. Things change, sure, but if you learn how to roll with the punches, life actually becomes quite enjoyable. Dare I say it’s even better than drinking?!?! Being an addict does not mean you or your friend, family member, coworker, or anyone is a bad person. It means you’re a sick person who needs help. Thankfully help is available in so many ways. If you’re curious about the craziness of active addiction, here’s a link to my old blog: https://unicornmeadowmuffins.wordpress.com.
    monicatbd says:

    One of my favorite movie quotes! Great job!!!

  3. therandombangalorean – Hello there. I'm The Random Bangalorean. I like many others am on a path to personal growth, self-care and development. I am here to share my thoughts, my stories, help others through my insights and learn in the process as well :)
    therandombangalorean says:

    It’s really the start of a new journey. Congratulations! 😀

  4. ashok – I Love, I Travel, I Meditate Am a Learner and love to share my experiences😊 I love people and I love Nature ❤️❤️ Nature is God and I love God 😊❤️🙏 Though I love to travel, I love people more😊 and I can travel long long distances to be with people I love. And I love myself even more. I love to be with me and my thoughts 😊
    ashok says:

    Beautiful post Katie. Congratulations. Well done.
    I am reminded of my grandfather. When I was in my high school one day my grand father saw my Physics book and asked me was the whole book in my course and did I know the subject well! Nobody in our entire family had taken up science/engineering before me. He was proud of me as well concerned, whether I will be able to do it.
    He passed away before I finished my Engineering. He would have been so happy.
    Whatever light is there Katie, it is in our hearts now. And trust me your mom is rejoicing in your peace and calm.
    Love and blessings

      1. ashok – I Love, I Travel, I Meditate Am a Learner and love to share my experiences😊 I love people and I love Nature ❤️❤️ Nature is God and I love God 😊❤️🙏 Though I love to travel, I love people more😊 and I can travel long long distances to be with people I love. And I love myself even more. I love to be with me and my thoughts 😊
        ashok says:

  5. I think it’s best if we don’t look to far ahead – or too far behind ourselves. That we see it for what it is now – a good victory and achievement of your goal. Another arrow to your quiver that will arm you for whatever lies ahead of you. An important step along your pathway.

    And something of which, undoubtedly, your Mom would be proud. 🙂

    (As are we all).

  6. JOY journal – A long-time journalist, Nora Edinger also blogs and writes books. Her Christian chick lit and faith-related non-fiction are available on Amazon. She lives in Appalachia, where she is part of a three-generation, three-species household.
    JOY journal says:

    Congrats on your degree program and on your growing sense of peace — which is exactly what your mom would want for you to have! Still praying for you ladies!

    1. Thank you, I know she would be so proud of us. I never thought I’d reach this level of peace. It’s not constant but it’s there and I’m so grateful. Thank you for commenting, have a great day!

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