It was Evee who had the idea to create this blog a few months ago. She was unable to sleep one night, her mind whirring with thoughts about Mum and the situation we find ourselves in – two young girls 18 and 23, me a master’s student, Evee fresh out of 6th form, tackling probate, becoming homeowners and grieving. There was no one that we could relate to.
After the loss of our mum, we have tried several times to find information online about people in similar situations – to feel less alone, to get advice, to know that life can continue after all of the trauma. We couldn’t find anyone. So, we decided that we would become those people for others through The Grief Reality.
That’s not to say that we are over it. Personally, I cry every day over the loss of our mum, even 5 months down the line. That’s not to say we are any good at it either. Sometimes I feel as though we are the blind leading the blind. But if anyone can feel less alone by reading our experience, then mission accomplished.
The point is: grief is different for everyone. It is not like the films. There is no “textbook” way to grieve. If you have had all of these chaotic, contrasting feelings, then you can empathise, and if you can’t, that’s okay too.
Nobody expects someone to write a book the same way, or run the exact same pace in a marathon, or drink the same drinks. Your grief is personal to you, because your relationship with your loved one is and was different to anyone else’s. But we are all going to grow, whether we grow around our grief or with our grief.
We are not sure how long we will be working on this blog – 1 year from now and it might be inactive – but if it can be used as a resource to anyone who is suffering the grief for a loved one, even in 5 years-time, then we are happy with that.
Katie & Evee