After the loss of our mum, we have tried several times to find information online about people in similar situations – to feel less alone, to get advice, to know that life can continue after all of the trauma. We couldn’t find anyone. So, we decided that we would become those people for others through The Grief Reality.
How many spoons do you have today?
I feel as though I am slowly sinking into thick black tar. My clothes feel like lead, pulling me under even more, weighing heavy against my lungs making it difficult to breathe. I don’t have the strength to put out my arm and reach for help. I feel completely overcome with grief for my mum. I feel debilitated.
Saying “Yes” to Yourself by Saying “No” to Others
Sometimes, making plans for the following week seems like a great idea - and sometimes it is - but other times, you just have to cancel because all you need to do is gather your strength at home.
“How Did I Not Make A Note of Every Word You Ever Said”
That’s my Mum, she existed, she laughed, there was a time she wasn’t dying or sad, when this wasn’t our reality, and when she could hug me and tell me everything’s going to be okay. The pain is just an indicator of how strong our bond was.
Am I a Carer?
It didn't make sense at first. How could I have been a carer for such a long period without having realised? I think this is the case for many people. Like I said, the changes were minimal at first, and you really don't mind because you'd do anything for your family.
What is Journaling and How Do I Do it?
I remember a page where I just scribbled “WHY”. One word which took up the whole page. I scratched it in so much the letters were thick and black but each time I drove my pen into the paper I felt a release.
Learning to Move Forward
The whole experience felt really cathartic by letting go and accepting the pain of 2018, without letting go of our Mum.
